When Ted was born, it took us almost 24 hours to name him. All the names we had thought of prior just didn't fit. We didn't share any name ideas with anyone. It was just between Jason and I until we decided to tell the world.
Obviously, our circumstances have changed. We had not planned on even finding out if the baby was a boy or a girl, but now that we know that we only have the next few precious months we wanted to find out. Several people have also asked if we have named her so they can pray for her by name.
After receiving our baby girl's diagnosis I went home and made the terrible mistake of looking at medical websites the next day. I really just wanted to learn exactly what this meant. The doctor said a lot and I was in a daze and in shock and didn't really hear it all. I wanted to know what exactly was happening. I wanted to know if there were pregnancy symptoms that I was missing. I wanted to know if there was a possibility of a misdiagnosis.
I found some of what I was looking for, but also saw some images that terrified me. If you are reading this and going through the same/similar situation I urge you to not read medical websites. They will tell you the science, but give you no peace or hope. They instilled a fear in me to even see our baby girl and this broke my heart a million times over. I was terrified and begging God to just take her now so I wouldn't have to see her like that.
On Sunday, I tried taking a nap while Ted was napping and couldn't. I decided to look up some support blogs. Real women and real families who have been through this. Their stories and pictures gave me some hope. They offered some great advice to help prepare me. They had beautiful pictures of their little angels and the precious time they had together.
Jason and I talked about several different names. We had decided on "Frances/Francis" before we knew any of this. Frances for the Saints, the Pope and my grandma who passed away a few years ago. We thought of some names that mean "Heaven", but they just were not right. My daughter, no matter her defect is a pure and beautiful child of God. I want her name to represent that. I wanted to give her a name that will remind Jason and I every time we say it that she is beautiful. We decided on Lily, which means purity and beauty.
We pray that every day until the day we meet her we can say her name and be reminded of how beautiful she will be no matter what.
My sweet Lily Frances, Mommy loves you so much.
A beautiful picture from a dear friend who lost her sweet son to cancer.