Friday, October 25, 2013

Not even a little

Recently I have had a lot of people ask me if I miss teaching. Sometimes my answer even surprises me. It's a very quick, "Not even a little." 

When Jason and I had Ted we talked about what we should do as far as work and childcare. Jason knows me so well and knew how much I wanted to stay home. We could have spent half my salary on childcare while I worked full time or work half as much and spend more time with Ted. Seems like a no-brainer to me. :)

I loved teaching. I love spending time with my son. I could not imagine trying to balance both. I think I might be resentful. Resentful for looking after other people's children while someone is looking after mine. Resentful for having to grade papers, plan, etc. when I all I really want is to spend time with my son.

Sometimes I feel guilty for "wasting my degree", but then a day like this happens...
Last week, Ted had a horrible day of teething. He did not want to sleep in his crib or play, he just wanted me to hold him or lay right next to him. I couldn't help but think about what would be different if I was teaching full time. First, I wouldn't be able to snuggle with him all day. Second, I would probably have to continue working after I got home.

Jason's parents came to visit and his mom made a comment about if we ever moved to Olympia, Jason's aunt could watch Ted so I could work. This really bothered me. I thought about that for awhile and realized my choice to stay home is not just a monetary decision. I'm not staying home with Ted just because daycare is expensive. I stay home with him because I believe it is the most important vocation I could ever have. I can always go back to teaching, I can never get back these early months and years.

The truth is if I had free childcare and a quadrupled salary, (yeah, I want to know where that school is too!) I would still choose to stay home with Ted. I know there are women who do both and women who love doing both. In fact, I admire you all very much. I am not that woman. There is no job I want more than being this kid's mom. 

I love every. single. minute.
 Teething is the worst...but at least he will let me snuggle with him!
 Two words: baby legs
baby yoga

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Earth Mama Angel Baby {Guest Post}

The greatest thrill of my life was the day I found out I was pregnant. I have had some other amazing days, like my engagement and wedding day, but nothing compares to finding out that you have a new life growing inside you. It truly is the greatest miracle! There is nothing I have ever wanted more than to be a mama, so the day I found out I was pregnant was pure bliss!
This blissful feeling lasted most of my pregnancy, unless I started thinking about change. I knew our life would change for the better, so I wasn’t really worried about that. The change I am talking about is how your body changes and never seems the same again. I definitely felt the mourning of losing myself… these body changes during pregnancy would affect the me I had known my whole adult life. I really don’t think of myself as a vain person, but I have always been blessed with a flat stomach. Don’t be jealous mamas…it’s the result of a long torso and short legs.
Morning sickness didn’t phase me, but when I couldn’t zip my pants anymore some, anxiety set in. Will I ever wear these jeans again? Will I ever lie on the beach in a bikini again? Will my husband see me as sexy again? These thoughts can be so damaging in such a beautiful stage in a woman’s life. Mixed with all the changing hormones and look out!
So I was thrilled when Jenna from A Mama Collective asked me to review Earth Mama Angel Baby's Pregnancy Essentials Bundle
You can read the rest of my review here.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Thankful for Today

I have a really bad habit. 

I am always looking forward, thinking of what's next. That might not seem too bad. Some people never look forward, never look ahead. 

I do it constantly. To the point where I don't feel present in the moment. I miss being thankful for right now. 

Maybe it's because I was a teacher. Teachers make plans on Monday for what they want Friday to look like. They make plans in August for what they want December to look like. 

Maybe it's being a homeowner and always looking at what needs to be done next. Right after we were married we had our family over for lunch and everyone was gushing over our house. All we could see were the things that needed to be done, we couldn't see in the moment we had (have) a great house. 

I don't know why I do it, but I feel like it's become a problem. Waiting for what's next instead of being thankful for today. 

I have a beautiful 5 month old son and I find myself constantly thinking of when we will have our next child. That's crazy right?! I mean he's only 5 months old! He's only slept through the night for a couple of weeks, yet I am thinking/worrying about when we will have another child. It consumes me.

Ted is a great napper. So great that he doesn't really let me rock him before bed or naps. Maybe that's why I am thinking about another baby already. ;-) 

But today...this little guy didn't feel like napping in his crib. He wasn't sick, wasn't wet, wasn't hungry...he just wanted his mama.

I am so thankful for today because there might be a lot of tomorrows where he won't do this.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Five Favorites {7}

Linking up with Hallie for Five Favorites.

1. I love Fall. I love pumpkin spice and I love carmel corn. These tasty treats were 4 for $1.00 at Sprouts. How could I not buy them?

2. I have not had one of these tasty treats in forever! Yum!! Vanilla frappe from the Bean...yummy

3. I am super excited to try these products and review them for A Mama Collective! (Note: This does not mean I am pregnant) Jason is my tea tester ;-)

4. I don't know if Ted is actually teething yet, but he drools constantly and chomps on everything. I don't know if these necklaces work or not, but really...who cares? How cute is he in this necklace?!
  5. I am in love with this chevron chevron cloth diaper! I think Ted is pretty excited about it too...especially if we win some baby legs too!

  Hope everyone is having a blessed week!